Divorce can be an extremely devastating experience. People who have ended a marriage find themselves going through a grieving process that is not unlike what they might go through had a death occurred. The same emotions associated with loss transpire, running the gamut from anger to shame to outright despair. Depression arises as a result of this, but there are ways you can learn to cope.
Understanding How to Cope
1
Be aware of what the signs of depression are. They include irritability, physical and mental fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, loss of appetite, either sleeping too much or not being able to sleep at all, problems with being able to concentrate properly, guilt, negativity, body aches, and losing interest in things that you normally enjoy. If you are exhibiting four or more of these symptoms, the likelihood is that you are suffering from depression.
2
Realize that it is normal to feel sad and that it is even cathartic for you to begin to express your emotions. Keeping them inside will only exacerbate the problem. Cry, scream, talk it out, do whatever you need to do, but don't let things remain bottled up inside. Doing so can even contribute to physical health issues.
3
Know that it is perfectly alright to ask others for help. You may be in so much pain that you feel as though you want to retreat from the world, but the fact is that this is the time you need to reach out to those around you. It is best to talk to people who are sensitive to your needs and who are willing to listen to what you have to say. A trained counselor or therapist is a good start and he or she can help you work through your emotions. If needed, medications can be prescribed that can help ease your depression. Stay in touch with family and friends who are positive and encouraging, as well. You don't have to go the course alone.
4
Consider joining a support group. Most areas have support groups for people who have been through or are going through a divorce. Check your local newspaper or ask your doctor to refer you to such a group and try attending some of their meetings. You will discover that there are other individuals experiencing the same things you are. It's always easier to open up to those who understand what you are going through. If you aren't particularly comfortable with taking that route, there are several online support groups you can join that provide forums where you can post your concerns, anonymously.
5
Recognize that recovery is not instant. It takes time to adjust to your new circumstances. Just the practical considerations connected with divorce, such as financial changes, dividing up property and other assets, child custody issues, etc. present a challenge to deal with. It's wiser to take matters one day at a time, instead of thinking that you are supposed to have a "designated" time to "get better." The recovery time is different for each individual, so heal at the pace that is best for you.
6
Call for help, if your depression is so extreme that you are abusing drugs and alcohol and, especially, if you are having thoughts of committing suicide. Call your counselor or a suicide prevention hotline or minister or a trusted friend. The important thing is that you get immediate assistance, to prevent things from escalating into a dangerous situation.
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